The BUCK(it) List

Let me try this again.  This is the second time I am trying to post this.  Am I getting old, or is technology just running away from me?  It wasn’t too long ago that my dear friend suggested that myself and another friend join her in making a BUCK(it) list.  Initially I thought that this was not going to be the best exercise but quickly realized (thanks to my group of friends that I call THE FACILITATORS) that I would respect her process and join in the fun.  Ironically, I loved loved loved the process and have used this to guide my journey through self exploration as I move into the age of adulthood (the 30′s of course).  As my birthday approaches and I finalize my goals for my year themed around commitment I realized it might be nice for me to share my BUCK(it) list.  Hopefully this will get me one step closer (since it is officially almost a third of the way into 2012) to frame my travel and other goals for the year.  Hope you enjoy!!

1. Maintain a practical routine of exercise and healthy lifestyle choices
   1. Take an African dance class and enroll in this course for at least a month and attend the classes regularly.
   2. Participate in at least one athletic event that is “out of my comfort zone” per year for 10 consecutive years.  This can include but is not limited to: an athletic league, a half marathon, a triathlon, a swimming event or another event.
2. Learn to Scuba Dive
3. Financial Independence and Personal Wealth
   1. Creation of a sound financial plan that will allow me to become financially independent and assist my family in becoming financially stable  i.     This includes complete repayment of my school loans  ii.     Owning a house or property that I only pay taxes on.  This should occur within 20 years of purchasing the property or residence   iii.    Creation of accounts to pay for the college education of my goddaughter.

4. Creation of a plan to open, sustainably operate and implement projects and programs through the Ethel Dotson Community Center.
   1. This will include a space to either run a non-profit that funds and builds capacity of communities of color to work for health sustainable communities and environments.
   2. The development of a scholarship fund and mentoring program to support students of color in science.
   3. This will include the offices of a non-profit either started by myself or a non-profit that I run as the executive director that works on environmental justice issues and works to create and sustain networks of opportunity for people working on EJ issues.  This will also include an opportunity to build capacity of youth and young leadership development.
5. Travel to at least every all seven continents at least once.
6. Love myself unconditionally.
7. Stop procrastinating
8.  Write and publish a book.
9. Take a speed reading course and begin to read at least one book per month.
10. Learn and speak fluently at least 3 other languages besides English.
11. Get out of my comfort zone and learn to not hide behind my insecurities.
12. Cut my hair and wear a bald head for at least 6 months
13. Write a grant that is successfully funded.
14. Get a doctorate degree in something that I love and make sure that the program is funded.
15. Smile more often.
16. Meet someone that I admire.
17. Throw my mother a really big party.
18. Help a person that I love achieve their dreams.
19. Send my father to Africa.
20. Start a business that will allow me to work on all the things I love while generating revenue that will pay my bills.
21. Learn to suck my teeth.
22. Become an artist. Do something artistic.
    1. Have a show where I showcase some of my photography and use the opportunity to raise money at least 10,000 for a cause that I really care about.
    2. Write and perform a poem for at least a small group of people
    3. Make collages and work with my mother to sale our art together in a venue.
    4.  Sew something that I can wear.
    5. Make a quilt.
    6. Learn to knit.
23. Find a couple of mentors.
24. Mentor someone.
25. Do my own taxes.

Let me know what is on your BUCK(it) list!!!

 

Peace B. Still,

ReFlectionary!!!

My little piece of the ‘Burgh.

Yes, I am crushing on Pittsburgh. It only took about 12 years, for me to finally love Pittsburgh. I  never thought this day would happen, but I need you to understand, a few critical milestones took place for me in Pittsburgh. I am not just talking about “O” fries, Primantis and learn some Pittsburghese. After spending a few days in Pittsburgh, I thought about the Pittsburgh that I did not know. We did do a lot in just a number of days.  And I wanted to share that beauty with you.

 

The Cathedral of Learning. The classes, conversations, people who I interacted with in this building start to enter my mind. Yet, when I think about this trip, I think about the curiosity that I brought as I entered and left this building.  To date, this is the highest institution of learning in the United States.

The Cathedral of Learning

 

Off to see the World, well Pittsburgh, according to Teenie Harris. This exhibit was amazing and I do recommend that you all catch it, since it will be on the road in the a few months. I think Teenie was able to capture the beauty of Black people in a time that history, all too often does not reflect. I was so happy to see this part of history and finding out a bit more of what his family went through to protect and share his work. The next two photos are photos of Teenie Harris, that are currently on exhibit at the Carnegie Museum.

 

The World Through the Eyes of Teenie

 

 

 

This Lady

 

I remember when I was in college, I really appreciated Andy Warhol.  Yet, this visit to his museum, made me wonder and reflect more about how he saw the world. There were a few things that I did not remember about Warhol. I always found his use of color refreshing and inspiring. Yet, as I left the museum, I wondered “how much do I appreciate Warhol?”.

How Much Do I Love Warhol?

 

 

I finally went to Fallingwater. I have to stay the weather was great for the winter and I wish I had a home or place to go to when the city just gets to be a little too much. As I get older, one thing that I realize is I really do appreciate the tranquility and beauty of rural settings.

Fallingwater

 

 

During our Hike at Fallingwater

 

Now folks. I want to make something very clear. I fell in love with Football in Pittsburgh. If you know Pittsburgh, that means, I fell hard for the STEELERS! And, here everyone, loves the Steelers.

 

I think the Signs SAY IT ALL!

 

I wanted to leave you with something sweet. I think the Enrico Biscotti Company was nothing but all good. I love biscotti, with a nice cup of coffee. It was the prefect snack to have during our walks visiting this city. Do stop in a if you buy five, the sixth one is free!

 

These Biscotti were worth the trip!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Love Pittsburgh!

I can not believe I am crushing on the ‘Burgh. I went to school here for undergraduate studies and his place really was the “pitts” for me. I could not wait to leave the place. I was the New Yorker, that could not wrap my head around a city stuck in the mountains, that was so unbearably cold and just seemed to be a boring city. Fast forward 11 years. I am a little bit older, mature and wiser (I hope) and this city was just amazing and one of the most livable!

For the next few posts, I want to share with you about my time in Pittsburgh. However, I love lists! So, I had to create a list of what I found out that I love in the ‘Burgh!

1. Pittsburgh is a beautiful city. Hands down, on a beautiful day, this place  offers so many parks and trails and the opportunity to lose yourself in a city, becomes possible.

Scheneley Park

2. Where are the overweight people? Seriously, the culture is pretty healthy. Yes, I saw some people that could stand to lose some weight and some obese people.  However, it is pretty clear this is a healthy city.  I remember when I was a runner, I loved, ooops, I mean hated this hilly city.  As I drove around town, so many people were exercising!

3. University of Pittsburgh is winning! Hmmm, can you tell where I went for undergrad. Yes, I am a Panther.  A Panther that needed to go around the world to realize how much I appreciated the education and connections from going to this particular institution.  I remember coming to the ‘Burgh to visit over 12 years ago and while I thought it was nice, if I were a 17 year old girl again, there is no doubt in my mind, I might have applied early decision to Pitt.

4. Why is there a war between Pamela’s and Deluca’s? No, really! For those of you that do not know, these are two breakfast places in the ‘Burgh. The obvious winner is PAMELA’s. No, ifs, and or buts. Now, please remember what I said about point 2. The lines are around the block for both these institutions. Only one of them warranted that wait in my opinion. Pamela’s, crispy and amazing hot cakes are enough to make you want to go there a few times a week, okay, maybe a few times a month. The take away: if you come to the ‘Burgh, please go to Pamela’s  you will thank me.

5. Pittsburgh does have good food! Maybe, because I have a job and steady income, I can go  and enjoy the food in Pittsburgh. I love food and this city does not disappoint. For some of you that know, I am a vegetarian (well, most of the time). I went to Meat and Potatoes and had some of their meat and I do not regret it! So, great food and really awesome beer can be found in this city. Sounds, heavenly already!

6. Culture. Ahh, the years of having the magical student I.D., how I wish I had them, as I paid full price to enter certain museums.  Museums and galleries are not short in Pittsburgh. As a matter of fact, I do remember Kuntu Repertory Theater always having amazing shows. One of the highlights of this weekend was being able to view the  Teenie Harris exhibit.  I am so happy to see that this story is considered American history and not African American history.

Teenie Harris

8. Last, but not least, Friends! To come back and see a couple of women that I hung out with more that 10 years ago, was great. Moreover, it was great to see women with their partners who stayed and committed to the Burgh. They both still work in the city and love their city. I was so happy that I could sit down for dinner and laugh and think about the good times that I actually had in the city.

9. Fallingwater. I really do appreciate the fact that my partner is an artist. I heard about Fallingwater, but did not let my student I.D. take me here. Last weekend, I had the opportunity to see the beauty of what an architect can bring into reality. This vacation home, is just an example of how we can actually coexist with the environment. (Believe it or not, it is possible!).

Fallingwater

Now, here is what you can expect. I am going to share a few more posts about this city and a few experiences that took place over a long weekend. Can’t wait to share with you. How about you, forward this post to your friends or family members that know about the ‘Burgh.  What is your favorite part of Pittsburgh?

Finding (me) pt 2…Da Bald Girl Swag

How I <3 Bows!!!

This right here is my swag…

All the Boyz on me, DAMN!

Everybody pay attention

This right here is my BALD GIRL SWAG

Its funny that I would ever ever think about quoting Soulja Boy but then again, I have always believed that a good or at least useful message can always be hidden in foolery or even from anyone.  Hence, my use of the lyrics from the song Pretty Boy Swag.  As I discussed the first part of this blog post with a friend, I became worried about having another “bog chop” story/blog about a black girl transitioning into her own.  Luckily my friend pushed me to write and also reinforced something that I had unfortunately forgotten.  The purpose of Travelling Womanists is to share the travel stories of Black Women.  This is the exact place to share this story because there are many sides to the “Big Chop” Theme and this is MINE!!! onward…

My last blog left off with my sister, my father and my mother taking a trip to the ocean to close out the process of parting with our hair, our past and moving into the future.  What better place to do this than at my mother’s favorite beach in Bodega Bay.  As we approached the coast, I could hear my father through my sleepy ears complaining about how he got talked into coming on this “womens trip.”  I laughed inside because my father (known in my family as the nurturer) always begins to complain as he openly contradicts the gender roles assigned to parents in our wonderful world.  He digs through this with his actions in supporting our random pan africanist hippy ways and while verbally asking himself rhetorically how he got talked into shopping, discussions about random “woman” things or attending many events where he may be the only male.  We pulled up to the parking lot and my mom stopped us.  She needed us to all put on our special shirts that she got for us at the dollar store (just see the color scheme in the slideshow below).

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As we began to get ourselves together my father luckily realized one thing.  We were not prepared to make a fire.  As my mother and sister scrambled to find someone to take a picture.  My father began contributing his part to our Big Chop/Hair Story process.  He began to gather dry things or should I say anything that would burn.  As he did this he slowly grabbed things and mumbled to himself “What would you guys do if I was not here?  Not one of you seem to care about how you are going to make this fire?”  As I giggled, argued lovingly with my mother about the picture and put my sister in a headlock, I also reflected on how nice it was that everyone in our family would have a part of this process.  My sister’s role will later be revealed.  We slowly descended down the hill to the beach and created an area for our fire to be prepared.  And so it began.  We piled things, burned things, laughed at each other and after a couple of failed attempts (including my mother trying to catch us all on fire) we finally got a good blaze going.  And then the question came…”Nzinga, what are you going to do?” my mother asked her very directly.  She looked and said “I am going to cut a loc but only ONE loc from here.”  My sister pointed to a spot on her head which seemed a bit to noticeable and cut a piece of her hair out.  She threw it in the fire and recorded a short video that I will post at the end of this post.  The fire crackled, we said our reflections and slowly burned our hair.  It was nice, I am still not sure how I felt completely but I knew that the process was over.  After the fire died down, I slowly took the ashes and threw them awkwardly into the ocean with sand and any other stuff that i scooped up from our fire area.  I felt whole, happy and at ease (while almost falling into the cold a$$ ocean).  I felt just like me.  Just LIKE Me.  JUST LIKE WE.

As we all piled in the car we shared our reflections with each other and thanked each other for being part of the process.  I was so happy to share this with my family and thought back to the days when we all piled in the car almost 20 plus years ago to go to the beach and find adventure.  This time I found something that I didn’t even know I was missing.  I found my BALD GIRL SWAG!

Peace B. Still,

ReFlectionary!!

 

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Finding Me…Part 1

Its been a little over 8 months since I chopped my locs and began to fall in love with myself again.  Its kind of funny because it took me awhile to actually make “THE BIG CHOP.”  Ironically, I have talked about cutting my hair for way too long.  I debated even blogging about this because I didn’t want to seem like the cliché and then I thought “this is a place to share stories and if you can’t share another BIG CHOP story here, where can you share it?”   So it began when my grandmother was slowly transitioning out of this world.  Although, I knew she was close to passing away, I was not sure what I would do to honor the last of my grandparents passing away.  It came to me at Weeksville while chatting with two of my friends, enjoying the sun and waiting for one of my favoritest artist to come out, Meshell Ndegocello.  Unfortunately, I left the event early to go to a friend’s birthday party and on the way home, I got a call from my mother.  She mentioned that she was interested in cutting her locs too.  I told her how I had just talked with some friends about that and was on board.

The day came when I got the call that my grandmother passed away.  I waited for a funeral date and promptly purchased my ticket home.  When I arrived I did a number of different activities to support my mother and at about 11 pm I turned to her and said “Its Time.”  As she cut my locs, I thought “Oh $88&!”  I looked in the mirror and was a bit confused by what I saw.  It had only been since 1995 since I saw my hair in this form.  In some ways saw it “Free.”  I turned to my mother put the hair in a bag and got ready to cut her hair.  I cut the locs that she had for almost as long as my brother was alive and nothing but happiness was written all over her face.  We took a couple of pictures and headed home.

When I arrived I was not necessarily the happiest person in the world but content with the fact that I had finally overcome my own vanity and whatever else was laying dormant in my subconscious.  As I walked in the door to my parents house my sister was at a loss for words.  The next morning my brother came home and I begged him to shave it all off.  He began to take his time slowly cutting my short choppy afro into a bald fade.  As the last bit of hair came off, I looked into the mirror and a huge smile came over my face.  I felt so pretty.  Now I feel pretty sometimes just like the next person but the smile that came to me is the smile that you have when you feel beautiful.  So beautiful all you can do is smile.  So beautiful that your skin glows and everyone else around you catches the same smile that you have.  As I asked my brother what he thought he said something that for his limited capacity to share feelings was very profound “You gotta do you!! If you love it, I love it…Uhhh, it does look nice.  You are really happy aren’t you?!”  I replied with a smile and begin jumping like a kid in a candy store.  The second part of my process was complete.  My mother did the initial chop.  My brother (who I did not necessarily expect to be part of this) cut my hair and reinforced his care for me in a gentle methodic and almost unspoken way.  I went downstairs and everyone noticed the difference.  As only my cousins can do they looked and said “You know Ogonnaya, it actually looks good!”  This “compliment” was the best.  I loved it because you could tell that there was some real contemplation, surprise and acceptance in all of it.

Finally after the funeral, my mother, my father, my sister and myself went to the beach for the final part of the process…

…and that story is for my next post!!

 

Peace B. Still

ReFlectionary

 

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Planning That “Quick”, Long weekend Get Away on a BUDGET!

Long weekends! For those of us that are stressed, have not taken a vacation, but promise to take a vacation, long weekends are a godsend. Until, you start planning them and possibly start planning a bit late.

Presidents’ Day weekend is about a week away from us. For those that were on the ball, they already know where they are going. For someone like me, well I told my partner, “I really need a vacation and since we are not going out of the country, get me out of New York”.  Well, work and family happened. Now, here we are a week before my time to relax and the details are not fleshed out.

So, let’s do this step by step:

1. Where do you want to go? Try something within an eight-hour radius of where you live. Look for deals and start planning from there.

2. Are you a credit card user? I thought you might be. If you are on a rewards programs, check out if car rentals, airplane tickets or hotels rooms are able to be redeemed. You already spent the money, use the points if you can.

3. Transportation. Don’t sweat it!  It all depends how you want to travel. The bus from New York to Washington, D.C. is quick and sometimes anywhere from $1 to $25 roundtrip. It doesn’t get much better than that!  Trains, do have their advantages, but so far have yet to offer the coach bus deals. Renting a car, comes down to getting good online deals or being part of a rewards program or mailing list.  Going with a site in your town has more perks than picking up from your airport. Airport locations, tend to be more expensive (to make up for the additional airport fees).

4. Reservations?  Play the system! Yes, I said it. Generally, you are not charged for making a reservation. So, book ahead and check to see if you can get cheaper prices on hotels and cars.

5. What to DO? Check to know the city. Eat, (eat, and eat; I love to eat) take pictures, see if any annual events are taking place, sleep in, read a few pages in the book and work out to get a sense of what people do wherever you are going.  Going away does not have to be expensive. Food, attractions and catching up with friends can easily be done for under $40 dollars a day! (Don’t believe me, let me share receipts when I get back from wherever I go).

6. Are you planning  your long weekend, trip? Let us know where you are going and what secret(s) you have learned along the way to save money

What is on the Upper East Side? Sarah Sze!

Last week, I decided that it was time to “stick” to one of my resolutions for the New Year (leaving work earlier) and go and explore New York City. I had a night of fun and had the opportunity to see some people who I had not seen for a few months. One of the highlights of the outing, was the exhibit by Sarah Sze.

When I think of the Asia Society, I tend to think of the place that has amazing forums and lectures.  I always knew that they had a museum, but I never went there. No time like the present, right?

The current exhibit, Infinite Line, allows you to walk through an artists’ process. Sarah Sze, has let you walk into her mind and try to make sense of her work through various mediums. Currently, there are two spaces for the exhibit, however we were informed that next week there will be two more rooms filled with more installations.

Sze (pronounced ZEE) works with a variety of everyday objects and transforms them into these pieces that keep you asking questions or trying to make sense of what is going through her mind.  The great thing about Sze is that, it is not all by accident, she is very intentional and her attention to detail is impeccable.

So, what are you waiting for? Go check out Sarah Sze at the Asia Society. Here is information that you need and if you are on a budget, Fridays, from 6:00pm to 9:00pm are free admission.. Now, you have nothing to lose.

 

Random Walk Drawing (Window)

Chinatown Goodies!

I had big plans to volunteer on Martin Luther King, Jr day. Maybe I got lazy after hearing many people say, I need a day for me. Well, after a relaxing weekend, I decided to take a day for me. My partner and I decided instead of getting robbed in our neighborhood for rice paper (approximately $7.00, yep). Why not go three stops over and go to Chinatown?

In New York City, we tend to think of fake Louis Vuitton purses, fake Chinese food and really fake and cheesy tourist attractions. But, hold on, there are people who actually live in Chinatown and those people go to the grocery store.

Fake, Fake, Fake

We decided to go to the Chinese markets! I love deals and making really food, this seemed like no-brainer. As we started to go into small groceries, we seemed to forget one thing. We did not speak any Mandarin or Cantonese (might be helpful) and we were looking for ingredients that were technically, Japanese.  I was very confident that we would find  seaweed, kelp and dried shiitake mushrooms. While, these were the important items on the list, I could not pass up on noodles (since I am eating gluten-free now) and sales (sesame oil only $3.99).

Mushrooms and Bok Choy, Anyone?

We decided that we wanted a larger market. I thought, this makes sense, we should be able to find kelp in the larger markets. Well, we found sodium and MSG laced stock, which we were trying to avoid. And, I got pushed around a few times and someone felt like they were climbing my leg, that I had to stop a lady and say “what are you doing? You can’t just do that. And she looked at me and actually said ok, sorry.”

Well, here is what we eventually got. Look at these goodies and the savings. You are looking at about 10 worth of food. Maybe 15. we ended up buying about 20- 30 dollars worth and of course we made really good miso soup that lasted us for a few days! Thank you, Chinatown!

Just a few goodies!

Homemade dashi helps miso taste great!

So, now, you want to go to Chinatown and pick up a few ingredients for your next recipe? Tell me the neighborhoods that are great for picking up really good and affordable “ethnic” food.

A Love Letter to Ms. Butler

 

I am a 30-year-old blogger, lover, activist, womanist, jokester and friend that hopes to be a 93-year-old blogger, lover, activist,womanist, feminist, jokester, storyteller and friend.  I am an introverted socializer that in the middle of the not so busy part of the busy city a pessimist (i say realist) if not careful, a feminist, a black, the grandchild of Baptists, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, serenity and drive. I am in LOVE.

source: www.indypendent.org

It only took me 18 years to fall in love again?  Only 18!!  It took me some time to deprogram myself in the city of New York and after many years of reading only the text for classes, work or something that usually was not enjoyable.  I fell in love with reading again on a subway car on my way to work.  I began thinking about how I had not truly enjoyed reading for sometime.  I set a goal (this is my new “thing” of trying to read at least 2 leisure books per 3 months, 1 scientific article for work every 2 weeks and the newspaper at least once a week.  Now for some that love to read they will probably not understand this at all.  For those that find joy in being transported to another place, time or dimension and read very quickly this may not ring true.  But for those that find it hard to read this page or that page, that find would rather stare into the air and avoid people’s stares on the train or listen to music this will speak to you.  I found reading hard and slow and just not something that really spoke to me in the way that some of my dear friends   explained to me.  I even remember reading a blog from a friend of mine about how much she enjoyed being transported to another place and wondered if as an almost card-carrying New Yorker (yeah i said it), I would be able to talk with ease about my newest adventure via an awe-inspiring and entertaining book.

Source: SandyOppenheimer.com

Well it finally happened.  I began to chat with my sister’s roommate about an author that was suggested to me by a few people over the past couple of months.  I am not sure if it is my love for feminism or womanism, my deep interest in science fiction, my desire to read things by women of color or my deep connection to authors that can describe things in painstaking detail in such a way that I can believe I am a melanin enriched vampire child.  All I know is that my sister’s roommates suggestion that we read a book together changed my life.  I took her recommendation and challenge to heart and happened to stop by a book store with another friend while waiting for our ride to the spa.  This chance encounter made me pick up two books: Power of the Sower and Lillith’s Brood.  I began first with Lillith’s Brood and this is where I not only fell in love but travelled to another dimension, another Earth, another world full of aliens, love, environmentalism, racism and so many other things.

I want to thank Ms. Butler because once again, I am taken back to the days when I would walk through my parents apartment reading Zeely thinking about what it must be like to come in contact with a representation of my past, present and future.  I am taken back to a place where my only care in the world was soccer, fun and traveling to a place that would only be possible through my imagination.  I want to thank Ms. Butler for creating a space where I can have a overanalytical conversation about the many layers of meaning of a oankali human partnership.   I want to thank Ms. Butler because now as a person committed to her budget and not spending as much on travel, I can still take a trip to places far far away.  I want to thank Ms. Butler for encouraging me to find my love again and find comfort in READING.

I want to thank Ms. Butler finally for writing this about herself which makes me chuckle but also spoke to my soul.

I am a fifty-three-year old writer who can remember being a ten-year-old writer and who expects someday to be an eighty-year-old writer.  I’m also comfortably asocial-a hermit in the middle of Seattle- a pessimist if Im not careful, a feminist, a black, a former Baptist, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, and drive.

Source: ChristineMarieLarsen.com

Haiti, Ayiti, Two Years Later.

January 12th is forever etched in my heart.  Two years ago, the earthquake in Haiti took the lives of some dear friends and family members and (some reason that I leave to my Higher Power) actually “saved” my father’s life.  Over 150,000 people died this evening.  This year, I did not want to share all my feelings of the current situation, promises that haven’t been keep, diseases that I never thought would exist in Haiti or talk about this new expatriate “hot spot”. I wanted to share with you what others are writing about Haiti. I wanted to invite you into the New Normal in Haiti.

Travelling Womanists

Thoughts of Getting to Haiti, 2010

My New Reality, 2010

My Baptism in Haiti, 2010

Haiti, you are still on my Mind, 2010

 

I wanted to let you know, not everyone was impacted by this earthquake. Just take a look at this photo piece.

Bloggers Living in Haiti

Let Haiti Live

The Haitian Blogger

Ben and Lexi

Two years later, so much still does not make sense. My hope is that the people who need services, get access to these services and receive assistance that they so desperately need.

For the ones that we lost, we have not forgotten what happened two years ago, when the ground started to shake in Haiti. ~Erzuhlie