The Chronicles of Travelling Womanists

Chinatown Goodies!

travelling womanists — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:21:02 +0000

I had big plans to volunteer on Martin Luther King, Jr day. Maybe I got lazy after hearing many people say, I need a day for me. Well, after a relaxing weekend, I decided to take a day for me. My partner and I decided instead of getting robbed in our neighborhood for rice paper (approximately $7.00, yep). Why not go three stops over and go to Chinatown?

In New York City, we tend to think of fake Louis Vuitton purses, fake Chinese food and really fake and cheesy tourist attractions. But, hold on, there are people who actually live in Chinatown and those people go to the grocery store.

Fake, Fake, Fake

We decided to go to the Chinese markets! I love deals and making really food, this seemed like no-brainer. As we started to go into small groceries, we seemed to forget one thing. We did not speak any Mandarin or Cantonese (might be helpful) and we were looking for ingredients that were technically, Japanese. I was very confident that we would find seaweed, kelp and dried shiitake mushrooms. While, these were the important items on the list, I could not pass up on noodles (since I am eating gluten-free now) and sales (sesame oil only $3.99).

Mushrooms and Bok Choy, Anyone?

We decided that we wanted a larger market. I thought, this makes sense, we should be able to find kelp in the larger markets. Well, we found sodium and MSG laced stock, which we were trying to avoid. And, I got pushed around a few times and someone felt like they were climbing my leg, that I had to stop a lady and say “what are you doing? You can’t just do that. And she looked at me and actually said ok, sorry.”

Well, here is what we eventually got. Look at these goodies and the savings. You are looking at about 10 worth of food. Maybe 15. we ended up buying about 20- 30 dollars worth and of course we made really good miso soup that lasted us for a few days! Thank you, Chinatown!

Just a few goodies!

Homemade dashi helps miso taste great!

So, now, you want to go to Chinatown and pick up a few ingredients for your next recipe? Tell me the neighborhoods that are great for picking up really good and affordable “ethnic” food.

A Love Letter to Ms. Butler

travelling womanists — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:02:15 +0000

I am a 30-year-old blogger, lover, activist, womanist, jokester and friend that hopes to be a 93-year-old blogger, lover, activist,womanist, feminist, jokester, storyteller and friend. I am an introverted socializer that in the middle of the not so busy part of the busy city a pessimist (i say realist) if not careful, a feminist, a black, the grandchild of Baptists, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, serenity and drive. I am in LOVE.

source: www.indypendent.org

It only took me 18 years to fall in love again? Only 18!! It took me some time to deprogram myself in the city of New York and after many years of reading only the text for classes, work or something that usually was not enjoyable. I fell in love with reading again on a subway car on my way to work. I began thinking about how I had not truly enjoyed reading for sometime. I set a goal (this is my new “thing” of trying to read at least 2 leisure books per 3 months, 1 scientific article for work every 2 weeks and the newspaper at least once a week. Now for some that love to read they will probably not understand this at all. For those that find joy in being transported to another place, time or dimension and read very quickly this may not ring true. But for those that find it hard to read this page or that page, that find would rather stare into the air and avoid people’s stares on the train or listen to music this will speak to you. I found reading hard and slow and just not something that really spoke to me in the way that some of my dear friends explained to me. I even remember reading a blog from a friend of mine about how much she enjoyed being transported to another place and wondered if as an almost card-carrying New Yorker (yeah i said it), I would be able to talk with ease about my newest adventure via an awe-inspiring and entertaining book.

Source: SandyOppenheimer.com

Well it finally happened. I began to chat with my sister’s roommate about an author that was suggested to me by a few people over the past couple of months. I am not sure if it is my love for feminism or womanism, my deep interest in science fiction, my desire to read things by women of color or my deep connection to authors that can describe things in painstaking detail in such a way that I can believe I am a melanin enriched vampire child. All I know is that my sister’s roommates suggestion that we read a book together changed my life. I took her recommendation and challenge to heart and happened to stop by a book store with another friend while waiting for our ride to the spa. This chance encounter made me pick up two books: Power of the Sower and Lillith’s Brood. I began first with Lillith’s Brood and this is where I not only fell in love but travelled to another dimension, another Earth, another world full of aliens, love, environmentalism, racism and so many other things.

I want to thank Ms. Butler because once again, I am taken back to the days when I would walk through my parents apartment reading Zeely thinking about what it must be like to come in contact with a representation of my past, present and future. I am taken back to a place where my only care in the world was soccer, fun and traveling to a place that would only be possible through my imagination. I want to thank Ms. Butler for creating a space where I can have a overanalytical conversation about the many layers of meaning of a oankali human partnership. I want to thank Ms. Butler because now as a person committed to her budget and not spending as much on travel, I can still take a trip to places far far away. I want to thank Ms. Butler for encouraging me to find my love again and find comfort in READING.

I want to thank Ms. Butler finally for writing this about herself which makes me chuckle but also spoke to my soul.

I am a fifty-three-year old writer who can remember being a ten-year-old writer and who expects someday to be an eighty-year-old writer. I’m also comfortably asocial-a hermit in the middle of Seattle- a pessimist if Im not careful, a feminist, a black, a former Baptist, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, and drive.

Source: ChristineMarieLarsen.com

Haiti, Ayiti, Two Years Later.

travelling womanists — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:26:02 +0000

January 12th is forever etched in my heart. Two years ago, the earthquake in Haiti took the lives of some dear friends and family members and (some reason that I leave to my Higher Power) actually “saved” my father’s life. Over 150,000 people died this evening. This year, I did not want to share all my feelings of the current situation, promises that haven’t been keep, diseases that I never thought would exist in Haiti or talk about this new expatriate “hot spot”. I wanted to share with you what others are writing about Haiti. I wanted to invite you into the New Normal in Haiti.

Travelling Womanists

Thoughts of Getting to Haiti, 2010

My New Reality, 2010

My Baptism in Haiti, 2010

Haiti, you are still on my Mind, 2010

I wanted to let you know, not everyone was impacted by this earthquake. Just take a look at this photo piece.

Bloggers Living in Haiti

Let Haiti Live

The Haitian Blogger

Ben and Lexi

Two years later, so much still does not make sense. My hope is that the people who need services, get access to these services and receive assistance that they so desperately need.

For the ones that we lost, we have not forgotten what happened two years ago, when the ground started to shake in Haiti. ~Erzuhlie

Guest Blog: Sun, Sand and a Sea Turtle

travelling womanists — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:00:28 +0000

Authors Note: This week we have Sharonda Williams guest blogging for us once again. She is fearless in pursuing happiness, balance and her next great adventure. Her previous blog posts include “Whip Your Hair” and “My Love Affair with Roma” Hope you enjoy hearing about her adventures in the wonderful Central American Country of Costa Rica!! Don’t be afraid to share your next great adventure with us too!! Enjoy. ReFlectionary!!

This past November I traveled to Costa Rica with my boyfriend. Like Lodz and Ogonnaya I am also a student of the School of Happy Black Women (Thanks Rosetta!). As part of my ideal life plan I told myself I would travel internationally once a year. The last time I left the country was 2009, so it was time for a trip! I have never visited a country where the people were so joyous and friendly. The day we arrived at Hotel Las Tortugas even the local howler monkey stopped by to say hello. The locals would feed him when he came by the hotel. We arrived on the lucky day he came by for his free meal.

What's for Dinner?

Costa Rica is paradise. We spent most of our time walking the beaches and looking out to the water. There were days where we would walk for miles and be the only two people on the beach. We snorkeled on two occasions while in Costa Rica. The first time we snorkeled was at Playa Carbon, a beach made up of black sand.

Paradise in Hand

The second time we snorkeled we visited Playa Real. We saw a yellow Pufferfish, as bright as a school bus. We also saw a school of tiny blue and yellow fish that flitted away when we came nearby. Note that if my hair was still relaxed snorkeling would have possibly been a NO situation. But since I am now rockin my natural do, a little water was no problemo.

The food in Costa Rica was delicious! But my absolute favorite thing were the mango margaritas. They used fresh lime juice from the lime trees grown at the hotel. This was one of the many benefits of staying at a local hotel and not a Hilton franchise.

The last night we were there we saw a leatherback sea turtle struggle to lay her eggs on the beaches of Playa Grande. This turtle had to weigh at least 800 pounds. Heaving her body on this beach was no small feat. This was her third attempt to lay her eggs at the same spot, but sand conditions prevented her from completing her task. Watching this event was significant for so many reasons. My freshman year of high school my marine biology teacher Mr. Rubinson told me a story about the plight of sea turtles. He explained that when baby sea turtles hatched from their shells they would often confuse the lights of the beachfront hotels for the lights of the starry skies and walk in the wrong direction. This story has defined my career path and my passion for wildlife. Sixteen years later I stood on that beach at midnight in Costa Rica and it validated the choices I have made. I looked at her strength and courage and it made me feel like I could do anything. If she could swim for thousands of miles evading predators, and heave her large body onto an unyielding sand to lay her eggs, then I could do my part as a human being to help protect her and the rest of the wildlife we share this planet with.

The next day it was time to leave. I had to put on a SHIRT! I had worn a bikini top and cargo pants the entire time. My skin burnt, my bikinis full of black sand and my mind still thinking about that amazing turtle, I bid Costa Rica hasta luego.

Enough

What Do I Write About? Here are my IDEAS….Help!

travelling womanists — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 03:56:21 +0000

Mama said there’ll be days like this.
“There’ll be days like this,” my mama said.
(Mama said, mama said.)
Mama said there’ll be days like this.
“There’ll be days like this,” my mama said.
(Mama said, mama said.)

We all know the words of this song, but here is the thing, I do not know what to write about. Yet again, I have so many options, but really once I look at what I have, it is not enough.

One of the resolutions this year was to blog every Monday. Easy to keep, right? I thought it would be great, I would have days worth of material to share with you. Well, here is what the week looks like right now

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (Saturday and Sunday-OH yeah, I’m on call and nope I am not an MD.) W-O-R-K at the J-O-B! I thought that there would be more time and the creativity monster would be all over me. I thought I was going to write about the New York Times 45 Places to go in 2012 , Pariah, the movie that I have delaying seeing about seven times now (but I really want to see it). Maybe I was going to share some of the Brooklyn (i.e. gentrification) poems that I have been writing since visiting and interacting more people who “knew and loved the Old Brooklyn”. Or, I would have planned it so that you all pick where I go for this long weekend. Keep in mind, I wanted something cheap and quick!

Ideas and yet, nothing. Can you help me? How about you tell me what you want to hear from me for the next few posts? Better yet, where are the quick, cheap and relaxing places on a long weekend (from New York City)? So, just to recap…I need your help, what do you want me to write about? I really want to keep my resolution, I just need a little help. Won’t you help me out, pretty please ~Erzuhlie.

Slap Some Glitter On It: 5 ways to embrace your body!!!

travelling womanists — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 03:52:29 +0000

So it wasn’t too long ago (almost 20 plus years but who is counting) that my brother opened up the front door of our home in the nude and yelled something that he watched on one of his favorite Nickelodeon shows, Rugrats. ”Nakie is Free!” He shouted and then ran away from the stunned person, my friends father, who had come to tell us something that I don’t remember. As I began thinking about my blog post for today I realized this was the perfect time for me to write about something that I literally have been thinking hard and fast about for a little bit. This also seemed the opportune time to impart some of my newly acquired older people wisdom on the world. You see, Tomy from Rugrats, my brother and even sometimes my sister have something right. Being naked or at least comfortable with your nakedness is kind of liberating. In addition being comfortable with your body, no matter what shape it is or what shape you are trying to get it into, is always refreshing. When you get there you get there but in the in-between there is lots to talk about and do. Since most people are adding the number 1 New Year’s Resolution to their list – getting into shape or getting into your skinny jeans or just getting back to the body you think you had 10 years ago – I though why not write about 5 ways I got more comfortable with my ever changing body while traveling the world as a womanist. Hope you enjoy

PS…if your interested in the Rugrats episode that I am referring to click here. Its actually quite funny with some other hidden messages that are perfectly fitting for any womanist, feminist or others (at least I thought it was kind of funny and cute – to bad I didn’t pick up on these references when I was younger).

Number 5

So this is actually something that I picked up from my lovely sister. CHILL OUT. I cant believe how many times she has told me this and as I embrace her mantra, I realized that once I did take a chill I was able to handle my new body and sometimes seeing others in the nude. Its funny, I think back to the 90′s when the naked people were all too popular in Northern California. This woman walked into a restaurant with no shirt or bra and no shoes and demanded a burrito. All the manager could say was “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service.” Who would have thought? I guess I have definitely come a long way since junior high when I did all that I could for no one to see anything when I dressed for gym.

Number 4

Join a sports team. I realized once I got to college that actually getting into a shower or playing sports with at least 1 or 2 exhibitionist gets you used to your almost toned body and being around others. I guess that you could join a sports team, sports club or something that has to do with going into a shower and seeing people just be free. I always wondered why the older women in the gym seemed so free and some of my younger teammates. I realized all it would take is getting used to all the parts that you see all the time in the shower, being mooned by a couple of friends and one too many pats on my rear end to just get myself out of my comfort zone and CHILL OUT.

Number 3

I have not actually done this but I hear attending a nude beach is liberating so to all those interested JUST DO IT and CHILL its the NEW YEAR!!!

Number 2 (one of my FAVORITES)

Take yourself to the spa. Not to long ago I went to the spa (King Sauna). Now this Korean Spa in Palisades, New Jersey aint no joke. I prepared myself for a fun time with my friend and her aunts. What I got was an experience that I would not give up for the world. Now my buddy (Lodz aka Ezruhlie) is pretty much obsessed with spas of all kind – she is also the other half of the travelling womanists. She invited me to the spa many times and I was finally able to go. We drove through Koreatown in New Jersey just over the George Washington Bridge and entered heaven. I got my beautiful pink uniform – promptly put it over my swimsuit and entered the hot and cold room. It was then that I was met by a smallish woman with a bra and panty set on that directed me to – well this is my interpretation of what she said was “GET NAKIE OR DIE” (giggle – ok clearly that is not what she said but you get the gist. I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to get naked with my friends closest relatives? YES!!! Although it seemed like I couldn’t do it, I was liberated and began having conversations and partaking (yes, I said partaking) of the wonderful world of King Sauna. I felt liberated, CHILL and happy. Thanks to King Spa I accepted my new adult body for the second time in the not so recent future!!

Number 1 (my favoritest)

Now what do you say could be better than number 2? Well this. The NUMBER 1 thing to do to get yourself in touch with your body is in the inevitable words of my friend from Antigua is to SLAP SOME GLITTER ON IT. Now out of context that could sound like many things but what this is – is the best mantra that money could buy. Basically I think a great way to get into your own skin is to go to a Carnivale festival and play mass. I don’t care where you go, how you get there or how much you have to pay for that matter how much rum you have to drink. There is something AMAZING about taking part in a festival where you basically dance in the street in a bikini (which i had never worn before this point). You are surrounded by a blanket of love and ferocity. You embrace (or at least I did) all body types young and old. I felt free and able to express myself for more reasons. I didn’t just come away with a wonderful story and grand love for Antigua and Barbuda, I came away with a love of my new adult body that only glitter, a little rum (wink wink) and some CHILLAXIN can do. So I say this to one and all….

No matter how old or young you are. Embrace your body. You are beautiful!! You may or not be a traveling womanist but you can feel free to chill, embrace the team, relax and let the serenity take over and by all means don’t forget to SLAP SOME GLITTER ON IT!!

Peace B. Still

ReFlectionary!!!!

Day 1 and 2 of the 21 Day Adventure Cleanse!

travelling womanists — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:02:59 +0000

Yes, it is 2012 and what better way to ring in the New Year with another health resolution, right? Hold on, before you judge and think that I am trying to lose the extra “10 to 15″ pounds, I am over that. Actually, that is one of the amazing that I learned from 2011. My body might not be on a magazine cover, but it got me through a few marathons, bike races and who knows what else for 2012.

Here is the back story. My blog mate and I were looking for black women who would be great to blog for us. Her good friend, discovered this amazing community called Happy Black Woman. I decided to give it a try, and one day she posted about Kris Carr and Crazy Sexy Diet. So, here I am, at the beginning of 2012 wanting to detox and ramp up my health.

Day 1 and 2

So, for those of you that do not know, I love to eat. I especially love to graze throughout the day. As I began juicing celery, kale, romaine leaves, pears and a few other things, I sincerely was hoping for all of it to taste good. Secondly, I realized that vegetables in liquid form are not really appetizing to me. Yet, when I drank the green goodness, I thought, I could get with this. Plus, I don’t have to worry about this food going bad.

It might not look awesome, but does taste great!

As the day went on, I realized that there were times that I was hungry. As I write this, I realize maybe I wasn’t hungry as much as thirsty. Another awesome thing that will come from this cleanse is sparking my taste buds again. As much as I love different foods, I have always given more strict vegan foods a thumbs down without giving them a fair try. I had some Thai “peanut” sauce veggies and thought, “ok, this is worth eating”.

Obstacle: Working at the J-O-B? Wrong! It was fine. I had a bit of juice in the morning and my afternoon lunch was so yummy! I also figured, if things got really tough for me in the day, I would make my way to the one restaurant nearby that serves juices.

Are you in? Let’s go down this road together. I figure we have nothing to lose and the days that we both are craving ice cream, frozen yogurt, chips, cheese, wine and ____(you fill in the blank), it is always good to have someone to have your back.

Support is nice. While, my partner has so graciously decided to be a buddy for me (hmm, I think that decision was very smart on his part) and I wanted to extend my support to you! Yeah, you. Were you thinking about health and wellness for this year? Well, let’s do it, together. ~ EF

I do love VEGGIES!

Bliss…Thank you, more please!!

travelling womanists — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 04:20:09 +0000

Bliss at my Fingertips

Authors note: so this is one of too many blog posts that have been sitting in the draft form….well cheers to finally getting back on the blogging track!!)

Last weekend (October 15-ish, 2011) I took one of the most amazing “road trips” of my life. Since I moved to NYC and gotten my Happy Black Woman on, I have worked hard to enjoy the simple pleasures and privileges that I encounter everyday of my life. I was reminded about the importance of being thankful for these things while watching one of my last Netflix dvd’s “Happy Thank You More Please” Now while this was not the best movie I have ever seen the message and/or title really resonated with me. It took something that I’ve been working on putting into short succinct words and did that in a short scene. Because this blog is not mostly about this movie, I will explain the scene in a super short way. So the woman is talking about gratitude while telling a story about someone who imparted some knowledge on her her her!! In the end she said that whenever she encountered something wonderful (Bliss) she would say: “Thank you, more please!”

In addition to my long preface about bliss to this story. I wanted to give a shootout to myself (for finishing) and to my most favoritest website Happy Black Woman and the 31 Day Reset. Ironically my theme for this year has been to say “yes” to things that I usually say “no” to. As a result of this, I said “yes” to my friend Colleen’s annual trip to New England (more specifically York, Maine). Now usually, I would say “yes” to this trip but was on the brink of saying “no” because I was moving soon. As Colleen encouraged me to make the right decision and come on the trip, I thought about how much fun I had on this trip last year experiencing the East Coast’s version of Northern California. That is right, I said it. New England is the East Coast version of Northern California, not Brooklyn but New England.

Anywho, we started out a bit late on our trip to the wonderful world of Vacationland. I slept most of the way there, listening to my sisters stories, giggling about the foolery that we might get into and dreaming about the food that I planned to eat, eat, eat (this includes nothing short of all things wonderful especially the Lobster Roll – which might I add, I am not a big fan off cause I don’t enjoy the chewy texture of Lobster). It turned out that Vacationland was more than I could ask for. Our first day was filled with relaxed learning, laughing and chatting with our wonderful host and his parents. We talked about our plans for the next day and retired away to dreams and dreams and dreams.

Blissfully Sunny

On day 2 we woke up and set out for a boat ride. Usually I am not too excited about a boat ride but figured that I would go with the flow. We got some ridiculously awesome grub at St. Joe’s Coffee. Although the donuts were a bit oily, the sandwiches and coffee were amazing. Our bellies full we set out on the boat trip that turned me into what sounded like a screaming teenager. We plunged through the water and realized that this weekend we were going to have an amazing time enjoying Vacationland from an insider’s perspective. We finished our boat ride with the wind blasting through my infinity scarf and picked up some grub and beers at a local watering hole. This place not only provided great people watching but also lead us to a chance encounter with some of the wonderful folks I met with my friend on my last trip to Maine. We headed back to get ready for a night out on the town in York at a fabulous restaurant. After soaking in more vino and even more fun we piled into a taxi and headed to Portsmouth, New Hampshire for dancing and cultural immersion that proved to be a little more than we could handle (this is a separate blog on its own). This night proved to be a little more than my little 30-year-old body could handle. We piled ourselves into our beds and rested up for our next adventure…

Day 3 in Vacationland ended up being full of randomness. We all sat around with our host and his parents soaking up the unseasonably warm weather and wondering what this day would hold. Well this day ended up being one of the laziest days of my life. We sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and then came the idea that we would play with guns. Yes, that is right guns. First the small bb gun came out and the we progressed to higher caliber guns. Then came the targets and my inevitable “yes” when I was asked if I wanted to shoot. I never thought too much about shooting a gun or even whether I would want to or not. As part of my theme for 2011 I said yes to unexpected things and this was no different. Although I am still a bit indifferent about guns, I have to admit I had a great time and understood the allure of “good old-fashioned” fun. We slowly got ourselves together and headed out for our next adventure in Portland, Maine.

Portland, Maine is a place that I can only describe as a quaint New England City filled with fun, promise, flair and a hippy-like art scene that I only thought existed in the thriving hills and valleys of Northern California. We ate at an amazing Thai fusion restaurant called Boda, found our way (well at least my sister and her friend did this) marching with the Occupy Portlanders, gave the stank eye to folks in a wonderfully wretched dance club and ended the night dancing our booties off to the lovely sounds of a Jamaican reggae band mixed with Portlanders, Jamaicans and a random guy with the WORST body odor I have ever encountered that loved to play the didgeridoo. This was the ultimate finale to a trip that I call Blissful to say the least.

It’s funny that all of this randomness came together in an experience that was uniquely lovely and characteristic of the fun times that I have embraced being a travelling womanist.

Peace B. Still

ReFlectionary!!

Blissfully Happy

Guest Blog: Silence Is Never a Solution: We Must Speak Out Against Sexual Abuse

travelling womanists — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:36:10 +0000

Habari Gani, Mi Gente!! Today we have a guest blog from Yolande Cadore. She lives in New York City and is a very dear friend of mine. She loves The Bronx and wrote a blog for us a little bit ago about a place full of loveliness, Grenada. This piece was written during the during the UN’s 16 Days against Gender Violence (November 25 – December 10, 2011). Peace be still. ReFlectionary!!

It was a sunny but cool fall morning in New York City. I began my Monday as I have done for the last few years, browsing the internet for the latest news from Grenada. Usually, the headlines were about politics or reports of some petty crime or traffic accident making national news. However, on Monday, November 14^th, one headline grabbed my attention, “Sister Charged with Killing Sharian”. The picture of an adorable little girl, not much older than 3, accompanied it. First, my daughter came to mind, and then I thought about what on earth could little Sharian do to cause someone, especially her sister, to take her precious life.

Initially, I was reluctant to read the entire article. This is a story that would grace the cover of the New York Daily News or other large urban newspapers—not my beloved homeland, Grenada. Of course, a number of scenarios crossed my mind; maybe it was a freak accident, sisters playing around and a moment of careless play suddenly turned tragic. What I wasn’t prepared for, was what the reporter was about to explain in some detail. Little Sharia was asphyxiated by her older sister in retaliation to alleged sexual abuse by her stepfather. The speculations are reminiscent of the many stories I have heard about young girls and teenagers, becoming victims of sexual abuse, most often at the hands of family members, or friends of the family. Regrettably, there is little open conversation about sex and sexuality as a way of public discourse in Grenada. This is rather bizarre for a people who’ve seemed to have become quite at ease with the over representations of sex and sexuality in our culture. For any given carnival season, and at any given moment on national radio, there is no searching for lyrics about sex (metaphorically) and sexuality. Conversely, we have remained tight-lipped on the issue, except for the likely organizations such as the National Organization of Women and other groups concerned with “women’s issues” speaking out on the problem of rape, molestation, gender violence and sexual assault.

Unfortunately, we cannot remain silent for much longer. Adults preying on young children, especially those in their care, cannot be allowed to continue without serious national scrutiny and dialogue. Our children deserve to be protected, if not by their guardians, by laws that protect them from gender based sexual violence. There are two real tragedies here; the first is the loss of an innocent life and second, the stolen future of a teenager who may have had her childhood stolen by a man that she was told she should trust and respect.

Is it too late to act to save our girls and boys? As parents, we must learn to believe our children and trust their intuition, even if it makes our lovers, family members and others look unfavorable in the eyes of their peers. We must encourage our kids to speak up and not fear persecution from the perpetrators because we are standing right with them. We must do more to educate our teachers and others who come in contact with children about ways to identify the signs of sexual abuse. We must create safe spaces for our children, boys as well as girls, to learn appropriate language about their bodies and to have open conversations about inappropriate sexual advances. Lastly, we must deal with the stigma that is so prevalent in our culture.

I am saddened by this double tragedy. As I read this story, I kept being reminded of the number of young women and men, who have had to endure similar ordeals, but were forced to do so in silence and with shame. Many young people who did not have the wherewithal to cope with their pain and shame and who unlike Sharian’s sister may have found less drastic ways to express their frustration. They may choose to seek revenge, they instead may have turned to alcohol and other drugs and even sex, to help them escape from their pain and embarrassment.

From afar, I can offer many solutions but if we truly believe that it takes a village to raise a child, we must be willing to hold those who violate the norms and morals of the village accountable; even if that means pulling the veils from the eyes off our family members, neighbors and our friends, to protect and safeguard our children.

More often than not, the wishes of those victimized by sexual predators are simple; “Believe my story – (it’s hard talking about sexual violence as an adult and much harder for a child); protect me from my violators; acknowledge my pain and frustration; if I tell you what he or she did to me, it not about who’s right or wrong – I am a child and I will never win out over an adult and do what you can to change my situation.” This may seem a lot in the moment but our kids are worth it.

As a nation, I hope this case opens up a national dialogue that is long overdue—amongst Grenadians from every walk of life. I pray that we place the focus where it rightly belongs, on what it means to protect our children. In the end, there should be a strong message from our leaders, that sexual abuse and gender based violence will not be tolerated under their watch. Regardless of who is right or wrong, or what the evidence turns out to be, a young child had her future snatched away from her and a teenager is facing what will turn out to be the most trying time of her life. Whether the accusation of abuse is at the center of this case or not, we can take this moment to educate ourselves and our children about the prevalence of sexual molestation and do something to save the lives of other “Sharians” out there. In the end, as we work to protect and save our most precious resource –our children, we may be working to protect and save ourselves. The time to strike the iron is now.

These People Passed in 2011.

travelling womanists — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 13:00:03 +0000

This year has had its ups and its down. One thing in certain in life and 2011, there were deaths. The shocking , the tear jerker and the deaths that people fought not to happen. As I read the news (and comments) about Kim Jong Il and watched the Ravens get destroyed by the Chargers, I thought who who else died this year? We know a lot of people passed, celebrities, soldiers, elderly people and loved ones. As I researched information throughout 2011 these are the people that I remembered and wanted to share a moment to remember their lives and spirits.

1. I am TROY DAVIS. You are Troy Davis. We are Troy Davis. Troy Davis was executed on September 21, 2011. He was accused on accused of killing a police officer in Georgia. No matter how you personally felt about Troy Davis and the evidence that was on the table, a life was lost this year that many believe was killed unjustly.

Troy Davis

2. The “Bad GUYS”! Osama Bin Laden, Muamaar Gaddafi and Kim Jong Il. Say what you want to but I think everyone remembers the __ (you fill the blank) photo of people in New York City cheering when Obama let everyone know Osama was dead. Not surprising, when the announcement came that Gaddafi was dead, celebrations were shown on the internet. And, last night, people genuinely wonder what the future hold for North Korea.

3. Ceseria Evora, the barefoot diva, from Cape Verde, came into the world with a voice that all were lucky to hear. She left the world, this past weekend and all wish would could listen to her one more time.

4. Susana Chavez. This year, I realized that I rad through the obituaries on a more consistant basis. I, selfishly, hope that I do not come across a person that I know. The problem with that is when you come across someone that is close to your age, you take a moment to reflect about your life, day, and being. Susana, a poet and human rights activist was 36. She was found murdered and her body was mutilated. She Chavez helped popularize the slogan “Not One More Death” as part of a campaign to bring attention to the killings of hundreds of women in Juarez. The women were raped, strangled and dumped in the desert for 10 years starting in 1993.

Susana Chavez

5. The Protester. While Time Magazine recently listed the protester as the person of the year. Around the world, the protester, lost their his/her life fighting and assembling for what they believed in. More importantly, the protester let the world know that if you get off your behind, the masses can assemble and bring change to the world.

The Protester

6. My family friends son. I will simply say, he was a person of color, young (about 21, schizophrenia who committed suicide. This hits so close to home for several reasons. The larger issue is that there was a family (of color) that accepted that their child had a serious mental health issue. Moreover, and maybe the most disturbing part is that he killed himself when he was in the hospital receiving treatment. He was buried last week and his family is trying to adapt to their “new normal”.

Let us know whose spirit that you will remember as the year comes to a close. Who inspired you? Who made you laugh? Who didn’t you call enough? Who did you wish you had seen one more time? Who passed in 2011 that touched you? Leave a comment and let us know.