“Ain’t No Love in the Heart of the City”


Online Dating

I love to boast about my matchmatching record to people. I do actually have couples that are STILL married. Very important in this field and my only fail was a couple that wanted to be matched together, despite my warnings, that they would not be a good fit for each other. I have heard the horrible stories about dating and online dating in this city. I listened, noted some of the valuable points and kept moving on. I read a few months ago, that Black Women did not fare well  on many of the dating sites. Last night, a comment was made to me, that  made me think about online dating in one of the most “diverse” cities that we know.

I had read the reports and the news about Black women not being “attractive”, thus making it very hard to be among the favorites when particapting in online dating. Whenever, I read these reports or discussions it became interesting how quickly some of he data was quantitative and then when the painful or tough questions needed to asked  it was a very “subjective” matter. What was it exactly that kept us at the bottom of the pack? Our hair, bodies, skin color , what exactly?

This topic came up last night and one man  said  “well, aren’t theere websites for Black women to date?”   I told him “since I live in New York, one would think Black women would not need to particapte in the Black ONLY activities.”   What I was really thinking is ” who would be on the website?  Does a website even exist that addresses this issue?”

I am a very open person and have dated just about every ethnic group (ask any of my friends).  I guess a piece of me is intrigued with the people who share the view that Black women are not attractive and why?   I found it very interesting that the same man  who made the earlier comment told me that once he changed his zip code (on a particular site) more Black and Latina women came up as choice. He said “ummm, those are not really a good fit for me.”  As I looked over to him, I said “sometimes, opposites attract and actually work.”  There was a chemist in the room, who proceded to tell us how important this interaction was even on a molecular level (Yes, this actually happened!)  All I was thinking about on my walk home  was if Black women not fared favorably on any of these dating websites, how do we get to online date in one of the most “diverse cities” in the 21st century?  I think the biggest question that it raises for me, is where exactly does that leave Black women and  Black girls?

Here are some discussions going on this topic:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

http://www.blackstate.com/dateblackwomen.html (I think people will have A LOT to say about this).

 

 

 

 

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~ by travelling womanists on October 26, 2010.

2 Responses to ““Ain’t No Love in the Heart of the City””

  1. Interesting blog. Would love to read more information about this subject. However, the websites attached to this article are not found. Can you help?

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