Finding (me) pt 2…Da Bald Girl Swag
This right here is my swag…
All the Boyz on me, DAMN!
Everybody pay attention
This right here is my BALD GIRL SWAG
Its funny that I would ever ever think about quoting Soulja Boy but then again, I have always believed that a good or at least useful message can always be hidden in foolery or even from anyone. Hence, my use of the lyrics from the song Pretty Boy Swag. As I discussed the first part of this blog post with a friend, I became worried about having another “bog chop” story/blog about a black girl transitioning into her own. Luckily my friend pushed me to write and also reinforced something that I had unfortunately forgotten. The purpose of Travelling Womanists is to share the travel stories of Black Women. This is the exact place to share this story because there are many sides to the “Big Chop” Theme and this is MINE!!! onward…
My last blog left off with my sister, my father and my mother taking a trip to the ocean to close out the process of parting with our hair, our past and moving into the future. What better place to do this than at my mother’s favorite beach in Bodega Bay. As we approached the coast, I could hear my father through my sleepy ears complaining about how he got talked into coming on this “womens trip.” I laughed inside because my father (known in my family as the nurturer) always begins to complain as he openly contradicts the gender roles assigned to parents in our wonderful world. He digs through this with his actions in supporting our random pan africanist hippy ways and while verbally asking himself rhetorically how he got talked into shopping, discussions about random “woman” things or attending many events where he may be the only male. We pulled up to the parking lot and my mom stopped us. She needed us to all put on our special shirts that she got for us at the dollar store (just see the color scheme in the slideshow below).
As we began to get ourselves together my father luckily realized one thing. We were not prepared to make a fire. As my mother and sister scrambled to find someone to take a picture. My father began contributing his part to our Big Chop/Hair Story process. He began to gather dry things or should I say anything that would burn. As he did this he slowly grabbed things and mumbled to himself “What would you guys do if I was not here? Not one of you seem to care about how you are going to make this fire?” As I giggled, argued lovingly with my mother about the picture and put my sister in a headlock, I also reflected on how nice it was that everyone in our family would have a part of this process. My sister’s role will later be revealed. We slowly descended down the hill to the beach and created an area for our fire to be prepared. And so it began. We piled things, burned things, laughed at each other and after a couple of failed attempts (including my mother trying to catch us all on fire) we finally got a good blaze going. And then the question came…”Nzinga, what are you going to do?” my mother asked her very directly. She looked and said “I am going to cut a loc but only ONE loc from here.” My sister pointed to a spot on her head which seemed a bit to noticeable and cut a piece of her hair out. She threw it in the fire and recorded a short video that I will post at the end of this post. The fire crackled, we said our reflections and slowly burned our hair. It was nice, I am still not sure how I felt completely but I knew that the process was over. After the fire died down, I slowly took the ashes and threw them awkwardly into the ocean with sand and any other stuff that i scooped up from our fire area. I felt whole, happy and at ease (while almost falling into the cold a$$ ocean). I felt just like me. Just LIKE Me. JUST LIKE WE.
As we all piled in the car we shared our reflections with each other and thanked each other for being part of the process. I was so happy to share this with my family and thought back to the days when we all piled in the car almost 20 plus years ago to go to the beach and find adventure. This time I found something that I didn’t even know I was missing. I found my BALD GIRL SWAG!
Peace B. Still,
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